I do a few things when someone doesn't accept me the way I am, or ignore me or neglect me or hurt me. There are a few stages and this can take a few days to a few months, depends how bad it is.
Stage 1: Blaming myself, hurting myself, punishing myself:
It is always my fault when something goes wrong. I have done something bad, wrong whatever. I always look into myself and my actions first. I go over them one by one in every single detail. I run, exercise or do something physical because this stage hurts a lot emotionally. I must turn emotional pain into physical pain so I can cope with my emotions, which is usually guilt.
Stage 2: Checking if there is anything to do to mend, if there is anything I can do.
I try and try again to communicate with the other to clarify what has actually happened. Usually the other person doesn't care, I usually don't have any response, which proves that they are quiet an ass. This stage is fine too as I kill the last question in my mind because I'd feel extremely guilty if I leave one single question that I couldn't answer. Everything can turn around at this stage depending whether I will have a response from the other party or not; or depending on their attitude about the whole matter and if we could clarify any misunderstandings.
Stage 3: Accepting the fact that I did my best and that I am okay (and the other party was not an angel)
Well, it says it all. there's nothing there. So I accept it is not my fault, and there is no question about this.
Stage 4: Letting go, freeing myself
After this stage there's no turning back. The person becomes no one in my mind. I don't show any feelings, no hatred no aggression no love, absolutely nothing.
Excellent read.The last years i am feeling that i doesn't show any emotion what so ever anymore. Last, a well known friend of our family died from cancer, and i didn't go or shed a tear, 3 months before that my mothers best friend died, and we've known that family since my birth, again didn't feel anything.
YanıtlaSilI just don't care anymore, it's like i have always used stage 4 like you mentioned. It's like i have become a emotionless zombie, maybe it has to do after 1 failed relationship and 1 rejection.
Thank you for your comment. You are very kind.
SilI know what you mean, if there's nothing to do to turn things around and then you go straight to stage four. I wish I could feel nothing... But again is this a good thing. Not sure.
Emotions make us human, anger, happiness, disappointment, etc. You should be happy to feel that way, i actually don't anymore. I feel like i am being played like a puppet since i was 12.
YanıtlaSilI always thought in the back of my head, there is just someone or something that controls everything in this world. People made fun of me when i told them 9/11 was a inside job and such. I saw a youtube video of George Carlin and he said this:'' If you ever have kids, teach hem to question everything''.
I saw your beautiful comment on my post which was about or understanding of love yesterday, and I have deleted it by mistake. I am so upset right now, because it was a beautiful comment - the best comment I have received so far.
SilAbout this one, I don't do conspiracy theories but I question everything the society imposes on us. I always ask "why, is that so, let's check it, let's think about it" if this makes any sense.
I searched for a method to recover it back, but unfortunately it's gone.
SilBut please don't be upset, i will comment on your beautiful writings.
Take care :)
Bu yorum yazar tarafından silindi.
YanıtlaSil