Notes on gender

I don't give a crap about gender roles. I am not an ordinary woman. And I don't want ordinary people around me.

Sentences starting like "real men would do this and that" irritates me. They say men don't cry, they say men don't show his emotions and feelings, they say men should contain himself, they say men must be jealous, they say men must protect his woman and look after his woman. What a bullshite! Men should cry, he is a human being after all. Men should be able to show his emotions and feelings, after all emotions are awesome and this is what makes you a whole human being. Men mustn't be jealous - jealousy is a sign of a sick mind and insecurity. Men don't have to protect and look after his woman, because his (I just love this possessive pronoun "his" here like someone belongs to someone) woman should be able to take care of herself because she is one strong person and can stand on her feet by herself.

Equally, sentences saying "women are like this and that" annoys me. They say women are like flowers don't hurt them". We are not fragile, we are extremely strong and our threshold for pain is quite a something.

I have  so much to say about this. But not now.

Criteria for sex and love

A transgender woman is sitting in front of me on the bus at the moment, which makes me think about sex and gender again.

I am certainly impressed by people, whether they are women or men, who can say "I'd do it with whoever I feel like, there is no gender nor sex in my choice. I can fall in love with a woman, with a man, with a transgender, with a lesbian, with a bi, with a pangender, with a transvestite"... Well, you get the picture.

Which makes me think again. Do we actually have sex with anyone but fall in love with certain category? Do we say for example, "I can have sex with a woman, no problem after all it pure sex, but I can not fall in love with a woman; therefore, I am a straight woman or, possibly bi". Is this what makes us what we are?

Which brings another question. Do we fall in love with someone sexual and gender  identity, behaviour, choice or do we fall in love with who the person is, the character blah blah blah? If you find out that your man is a straight crossdresser, would you stop loving him? If so, why? He is still the same man you have fallen in love? What has changed?

Time referenced

I have time scales in my head.

I cry three days and nights and then I recover and get better when something terrible happens. I allow myself three days to mourn. And then it is over.

I believe you should wait for eight to ten weeks before you think it is love, because it is probably not. In most cases it is just infatuation and it would end in eight weeks.

Love lasts only two and half years. It is doomed to finish. Nothing is forever.

Mind of a swinger

I'm trying to understand the mind of a swinger. Don't get me wrong, I do understand certain things. For example, I do understand that other people are just instruments in your relationship. It might a bunch of strangers and the whole thing is just between you and your partner. I also understand this is not cheating as the other person has given you the consent and participating in the act of sex with you and there is no romantic feelings involved. So I get it.

But what I don't get is this. How on earth you do this? How on earth you share your partner, allow other men to get in her, or watch him penetrating other women? Don't you ever get jealous, feel insecure? How do you feel when you see them sharing a glance, some sort of smile or even an eye contact?

Am I old fashioned? I think not.

You're just a number

No one gives a crap about you. You're just a number, a tick in a box - so they'd say they have done their responsibilities, or even better, they get something in return, some sort of funding, for example.

If your kid is ill and can not go to school, they call you in and ask what seems to be the problem, like they care. They don't give a shite about the wellbeing of your kid. On the contrary, all they care is the fact that your kid must attend every single day - and they will make you - so that they can achieve good attendance rate; so that they can get funding.

You see your doctor because you are feeling down. He types whatever types about you on his computer system pretending to be listening to you and puts you on anti depressants and a few sleeping tablets. He doesn't give a damn about your wellbeing, he gets rid of you in the quickest possible way. In ten minutes you receive a treatment that you disagree with, but he achieves his target, ticks the box; he sorted you out in his target time.

So so sorry

I'm sorry have I just made you think? Have I just moved your earth a bit? Perhaps stired shite? Do you need to rethink now? It was comfortable, wasn't it, I mean before me?

Woman body

I'm tired of seeing woman's body being sold, showed off, advertised, made up and promoted as "fuck toys". Equally, I'm so fed up of women not having any hard feelings about this; even worse, playing the game, going along with it, not seeing anything wrong with it. Bloody hell!