Even the brightest

That's my problem - I can not seem to find my companion. Don't get me wrong, I have found my other half, what I mean here is that I can not find one single person in my social circle who I would possibly be compatable with. What I mean here is someone who has "similar brain wave", "similar perspective" or "life experiences". I do not get people - I either live on another planet or I'm super unusually idiotic. People shock me, even the people I would think are bright, liberal and free. They somehow come up with the most discriminative, racist, sexist, materialistic, misogynist bullshit.

Photos

Why do we take photos? Don't you think it is sad to flick through them and remember the past? It is a torture, I believe. Why would anyone want to look at photos and remember the good old days and feel nostalgic and sad? I think we all should stop taking photos and live in the moment. There's nothing special in collecting memories.
I don't get people who constantly live in the past and do nothing but sigh. Photos encourages this morbid state of mind. This is why I am against them

Notes on gender

I don't give a crap about gender roles. I am not an ordinary woman. And I don't want ordinary people around me.

Sentences starting like "real men would do this and that" irritates me. They say men don't cry, they say men don't show his emotions and feelings, they say men should contain himself, they say men must be jealous, they say men must protect his woman and look after his woman. What a bullshite! Men should cry, he is a human being after all. Men should be able to show his emotions and feelings, after all emotions are awesome and this is what makes you a whole human being. Men mustn't be jealous - jealousy is a sign of a sick mind and insecurity. Men don't have to protect and look after his woman, because his (I just love this possessive pronoun "his" here like someone belongs to someone) woman should be able to take care of herself because she is one strong person and can stand on her feet by herself.

Equally, sentences saying "women are like this and that" annoys me. They say women are like flowers don't hurt them". We are not fragile, we are extremely strong and our threshold for pain is quite a something.

I have  so much to say about this. But not now.

Criteria for sex and love

A transgender woman is sitting in front of me on the bus at the moment, which makes me think about sex and gender again.

I am certainly impressed by people, whether they are women or men, who can say "I'd do it with whoever I feel like, there is no gender nor sex in my choice. I can fall in love with a woman, with a man, with a transgender, with a lesbian, with a bi, with a pangender, with a transvestite"... Well, you get the picture.

Which makes me think again. Do we actually have sex with anyone but fall in love with certain category? Do we say for example, "I can have sex with a woman, no problem after all it pure sex, but I can not fall in love with a woman; therefore, I am a straight woman or, possibly bi". Is this what makes us what we are?

Which brings another question. Do we fall in love with someone sexual and gender  identity, behaviour, choice or do we fall in love with who the person is, the character blah blah blah? If you find out that your man is a straight crossdresser, would you stop loving him? If so, why? He is still the same man you have fallen in love? What has changed?

Time referenced

I have time scales in my head.

I cry three days and nights and then I recover and get better when something terrible happens. I allow myself three days to mourn. And then it is over.

I believe you should wait for eight to ten weeks before you think it is love, because it is probably not. In most cases it is just infatuation and it would end in eight weeks.

Love lasts only two and half years. It is doomed to finish. Nothing is forever.